(Seventh & final posting, of my bucket list short story, "Releasing the Butterflies," posted 8/29/2011. As usual, scroll down and click on the original posting with Adam's photo to read the story.)

Chapter Ten

(While Jonathan is away, my friend, Anne is readying the cottage for the realtor’s sale. This unexpected vacation has afforded her time to finalize her decision about the cottage, and it has also kept her busy in thought during the process. )

Meanwhile, Jonathan meets with law enforcement officials to claim his parent’s possessions. The luggage had washed ashore soon after the plane crashed, and the two cases were found not too far apart. They had been found by a person from a small village just outside of Paris where the beach fronted his property. It was the man’s dying wish (and to get right with his god before his death) that his daughter promise that the luggage be returned to the rightful owners.

After a voluminous and involved amount of paperwork, signatures, and legality involved with trips to law offices, Jonathan requested to visit the area and meet with the old man’s daughter.

The daughter was very apologetic for what her father had done by keeping the luggage all these years, and asked Jonathan for his forgiveness. She explained how her father said he had struggled with the guilt for having found and kept the belongings of Jonathan’s parents. He knew it was morally wrong to have kept the cases.

He had done so, because they had been so poor…..he had thought in the future if need be, it would allow him to help care for his family.

The only pleasure and enjoyment the old man had experienced while hoarding the possessions…..had been the occasional removal of the cases from the attic hiding place to view the beauty of the fine jewelry and clothing.

The daughter showed Jonathan the approximate area where her father had told her the cases had washed ashore. He asked to be alone while he walked the beach. In deep thought…..and in much emotional pain…..he walked the beach remembering his loving parents, and his life with them back in Bedford.

Before leaving the area, Jonathan said to the daughter, “Thank you for respecting your father’s wishes. Because you complied with his request, I can finally have closure.” He asked her to please accept a check he

had written as a just reward in memory of his loving parents, and her father. The daughter, who was about Jonathan’s age, and so guilt ridden by her father’s revealing confession on his death bed, refused the gesture of kindness.

Jonathan is pleased to finally have closure about his parent’s death, but as he crosses the vast ocean for home…..he is reminded once again of his parent’s tragically lost lives……somewhere in the depths of the ocean floor below him. After a while, his thoughts immediately turn to Anne. He thinks how much his parents would have loved her, and wishes they could have met.

Upon arriving at his Bedford estate, he again looks through his parent’s elegant possessions. He opens the jewelry pouch, and fingers the things that had belonged to his mother. His eyes find the diamond encrusted opal ring, a dainty bracelet with blue sapphires in two tones of gold, and several jeweled dress pins. The pouch also contains his father’s watch and fob which he never wore during travel, a diamond stick pin, and a pair of gold and diamond cuff links.

Also, found in the suitcases were the usual business papers from their business ventures, and a document showing the purchase of a chalet in Paris. It was not too far from the village where the luggage had washed ashore.

Pausing, he picks up the phone to call Anne, but replaces the receiver to its position, runs out the door to his car, and drives full speed to town. On the way, he phones Anne to announce his arrival. Receiving no answer, he sadly turns the car around and heads back to his home. (You see, he doesn’t know my friend, Anne is out of town and at her beach cottage)

When my friend, Anne returns a few days later…..she is awakened by a ringing phone. Hello, Jonathan! When did you return to Bedford? Yes, give me about an hour, and I’ll be right there!

(I’ll let her tell you what happened from here) I quickly dress, grab a cup of coffee, and have no desire to search out butterflies as I race

through town to his estate. He sounded as though whatever it is…..must be quite urgent.

When I arrive, he runs out to meet me, whirls me around headed for the front door, and quickly whisk me inside. In the study, I find scattered on and about the desk what appears to be some kind of wrinkled water stained business documents, and a travel jewelry pouch. He relates to me all that had transpired while explaining the documents, and showing me the contents of the pouch.

I admired his mother’s jewelry realizing the sentimental significance to Jonathan. He removes the diamond and opal ring still remaining in the pouch, places it on my finger while asking if I would please do him the honor of becoming his wife to make his life complete.

(Today, just one year later, our wedding is being held at the screened-in gazebo where we picnicked by the river. It is a beautiful sunny clear afternoon with a delicate light breeze. It is a small affair with a completely healed and cured “W.T.” and his wife, a few other close friends, his entire staff, Rowan, and the florist deliveryman.)

At the small wedding reception, Jonathan takes me aside and gives me two small envelopes as his wedding gifts to me. He says, “Anne, it is with much love for the first time in my life, and with great affection that I give you these tokens of that love.” I quizzically open the first envelope finding a key to the small Parisian chalet which had belonged to his parents. In the other envelope, is a key to property purchased through his investment management company, (sight unseen as sometimes happens) Yes, Jonathan had unknowingly purchased as an investment…..my beloved beach cottage!

(As Anne's friend, I will tell you what happened from here) At the close of Anne and Jonathan’s wedding ceremony there is just one more surprise. Anne is delirious with emotions as hundreds of butterflies  from Jonathan’s s butterfly garden are released into the sky! He turned to her saying, “They are a symbol of releasing all our past emotional pain. They symbolize our new life cycle of happiness with my vows to honor you, to love you, and to respect you……for an unimagined love and future traveled as one for the rest of our lives.”

I do hope you have enjoyed reading about my dear friend, the sister I love, and the couple who together “Released their butterflies to the sky.”

Sheryl

P.S.

“Remember, just because you feel flawed with whatever is bothering you in life…..you are still beautiful even though you feel you have a broken wing.”

PHOTOS, "RELEASING THE BUTTERFLIES"

(Fifth posting, continued story, "Releasing the Butterflies," 8/28/2011. Scroll down and click on the original post with Adam's photo to view and read the story.)

Chapter Nine

During Anne’s childhood must have been her mother’s unhappiest! As Anne’s friend, I would like to share with you what Anne would never reveal about her childhood or parents. It was an unfortunate beginning into a life filled with unfortunate circumstances.

Anne’s parents married very young, and her mother always appeared to resent the marriage. She had been engaged to marry someone else, but her mother wanted her to marry a young man who had repeatedly begged her, and who lived in the neighborhood. (He was her grandmother’s favorite choice for a husband for her daughter) Anne’s grandmother told her daughter if she married anyone other than this young man, she could never again return home.

In her daughter’s quest for some kind of happiness in her life…..ended her engagement, and married Anne’s dad. In the 27 years of their marriage, Anne didn’t think they ever experienced the first day of happiness. When her mother would become so tired from having to work, combined with being beaten by her dad…..she must have felt so alone, scared, filled with resentment and anger. As I look back on their lives, it is a wonder they even had time for one another.

There were those frequent daily times her mother would become agitated, and Anne never knew what she had done. “She would grab me by the arm, and put me in the closet under the steps. I would sit on an old brown trunk (which was the lone item stored in the closet) listening to her scream/rant/rave for me to stay there. When I’d cry and beg, Please mommy, let me out…..I promise I’ll be a good girl. It would fall on a dead unanswered silence.”

You know, some years later after Anne married she said they drove past that old house where this had occurred. There was a “For Sale” sign in the yard. She asked her husband to please stop. They approached the front door, tried knocking…..but no one answered. She turned the knob, and the door was unlocked. They entered the vacant/unfurnished

house. The first room Anne wanted to see was the room with the closet under the steps. She ducked her head, entered the small closet, and turned to ask her husband to take her picture. He asked why in the world she would want a picture of such an unpleasant experience? She answered, “I want to exorcise my closet, and all the bad memories it holds.”

Anne said there were numerous other incidents! When her daddy would beat her mother in the middle of the night…..her mother would gather her and her sister, Sheryl up with a few belongings.

They would walk several dark (no street lights) frightening miles in the middle of the night to the grandparent’s home. There, they would sleep on the floor of the three room cottage.

The grandparents had to give up their nice home when the grandfather’s eyes worsened with cataracts. (In those days, there was no corrective eye surgery.) He had been a carpenter of fine furniture, and could only find work as a caretaker of a cemetery. The job included the cottage with no running water, electricity or bathroom facilities.

Anne said as a child growing up; it was a frightening experience. She told me it was especially embarrassing as a teen never being able to bring the few friends she allowed herself to her home for a visit. When she entered the house each day after school….she never knew what she might find/what might have taken place. It caused her to become sort of a loner. She said it was easier not having friends then, she never had to explain the environment or her family.

There was a wealthy family down the street from Anne. They had a beautiful home with a swimming pool, pool table in the basement, and all kinds of things to keep a child busy.

Their mother didn’t have to work, and the father was a dentist. Also, he had turned one of the very large rooms in the older home into a rehearsal space for an orchestra. He was a bit eccentric, and thought himself to be an orchestra leader.

Their daughter and Anne became friends in junior high school where they each played violins in the school’s orchestra. They invited Anne into this home-styled orchestra, and were occasionally invited to perform for the children’s orphanage in their city.

Anne told me that later she realized the important role this family played in her life. They would take her everywhere they went. She recounted one of her fondest memories of the first time she saw their beautiful second home located on the James River. The home dated to

the Civil War era, and upon entering the double front doors, you could look upstairs and see the surrounding hallway on each of the four sides.

After moving to Bedford, my friend lost touch with this family. It was many years later, she saw her childhood friend, and was able to thank her for including her in their outings. Her parents realizing (perhaps hearing) her personal need, and void in her life which they could fill.

There were other times, maybe a friend would invite Anne to the movies. She would begin getting ready early in the morning after finishing her chores. The usual shower and shampoo, pin curling her hair, washing her clothes to wear, hanging them on the clothes line to dry, and then ironing what she planned to wear that day. All dressed and ready to leave….she would reach for the door knob. Invariably, her mother would say, “Where do you think you’re going?” Anne would stay home again. After this continued treatment, she said she remembered thinking…..why get excited about an event or planned trip….it’s not going to happen anyway. Anne’s unhappiness and discomfort seemed to bring her mother great pleasure and enjoyment.

In her teen years, her dad’s beatings to her mother were transferred to Anne by her mother. They lasted until Anne’s marriage to her late husband, Jim. Anne mentioned how her mother would throw her on the bed, straddle her and beat…..beat….. beat until her frustrations had cleared.

Once, it became so bad that Anne attempted to run away to the home of her dad’s parents. They lived at the beach some two hours away. Anne’s friend and the friend’s mother pooled their money for her train ticket.

When Anne arrived at the train station…..she phoned her friend. The friend said your mother phoned looking for you. She said you had better return home or she is phoning the police.

As a child, Anne said it was very confusing, and she didn’t understand at all! She would watch her mother (who was a professional seamstress) sew into the night making her little smocked dresses, beautiful coats with matching hats and purses. As a teen, her mother always kept her wallet filled for her needs at school, but there never seemed to be any affection and was void of any love.

As an adult, Anne rationalized that in her mother’s unhappiness with her unwanted marriage partner, with the two partners making one another miserable in retaliation…..she felt she was the trigger to release some of her hostility and frustrations.

(While at the beach cottage Anne thinks.....my goodness, the storm was horrendous, but with a much needed rain. I have written in my journal and reflected on my childhood much too long tonight. Like the rain that cleanses the earth…..so, my soul has been purged clean.)

(Fourth posting, continued story, "Releasing the Butterflies," 8/27/2011. Click on the original post with Adam's photo to view the story.).)

I remove the letter and once again open it to read. I begin to remember the occasion…..it was a few years after Jim’s unexpected death. It reads……….

Dear Anne:

As your older sister there are some things I need to say. I am deeply concerned about your emotional pain. I realize this has been a hurtful and difficult time for you, but your loss of Jim seems to be taking its toll on your life.

I think it is taking an unusually long time for your adjustment and recovery. When I visited you a few months ago, I couldn’t help noticing your lack of interest in your home, yard and personal appearance. This is in sharp contrast to the way you have always functioned and lived your life. Because of my deep concern and love…… I just need to share some of my following thoughts:

Any idea, thought, emotion, anger or whatever equates to a negative or positive energy. To expend any of the negative energies on the past is a complete waste and loss of time. The past cannot be undone…..what is done…..is just that…..DONE/OVER/FINISHED.

If the situation is loneliness, lost love, etc., does a person just stew in those negative juices day in and day out/minute by hour over and over again EXPENDING NEGATIVE ENERGY? How does this action make any POSITIVE SENSE for a POSITIVE GROWTH?

How does a positive relationship get a chance to occur while only negative energy is being expended on the past, thinking always of what we don’t have, and what we think we aren’t?

Wouldn’t it be more fruitful to grab on to the positive energy in the depths of your inner-being to change that which we have absolutely no control over…..meaning, past mistakes/misjudgments, etc?

I’m personally convinced from years of thoughts and experiences that the past mistakes/misjudgments, have to happen in order that we my grow character, wisdom, and experience.

I personally think the problem that can evolve,….. is to stop dead in our tracks at the end of that last sentence. To just stop and become mired down after the realization, but then not to move forward in a positive direction is what can occur in each of us. I personally think when we don’t keep repeating the same actions…..then, we know we are experiencing a new positive growth.

If I may; you are beginning that new positive growth by starting to clean the yard. You are taking the yard from a negative state to a

positive state, which can result in a positive state of mind for your inner self. Now, the growth part for you will come into play, when you feel the satisfaction of the positive results.

Step by step, one day at a time, keep moving forward towards positive results. Next, move inside the house, and one room at a time, and one day at a time…..look at the positive results. Feel the positive results and energy.

Now, step by step, one day at a time while you complete the yard and inside the house, be working on your inner self. Love yourself for what you’ve accomplished, love yourself for all your good qualities, love

yourself for your generosity, love for your fair treatment of others, love yourself for your inner/outer beauty that is there, love yourself for all your accomplishments in life, love yourself for the way you deal with your neighbors/family members, love yourself for being a good person. Love, love and love again……Anne Elizabeth Mayo!

Maybe, don’t spend every weekend or every evening, doing the same things. Yard work is a positive thing, but it can also become a pattern difficult to break.

Do some of the other things you love. Go biking, to the market, to the library or hiking. Find someone who also likes to browse antiques. You may happen upon someone else who is lonely, just get yourself out of the house, and out of negative thinking. Keep on keeping on with your life. Don’t dwell on your aloneness. Try to think of other things. Don’t put yourself in the same situations. Remember, positive growth! Don’t

be in all the same places, doing all the same things, having all the same thoughts over and over again.

Note: So, you just had a life changing setback! Deal with it your way, but don’t stew in the negative juices for a dangerously long period of time. You are intelligent enough to know when life with someone is over, you must move on with your life.

To keep on going back to a comfortable/uncomfortable place with the same thoughts is unhealthy. It is like picking a squeezed lemon out of the trash can, and just trying one more time to extract more juice.

Cherish the experiences you had with Jim/situations, but don’t let them consume your every waking minute. At the same time, reflect on the negative aspects of that same relationship and ask yourself how they felt.

In other words, to use the lemon example; if you had taken that already squeezed lemon from the trash can…..squeezed and gotten a little more juice, but the juice was no longer as pungent…..just what would you have gained?

Anne, I love you, and I hope I‘ve not overstepped the sister boundaries of life, and offended you in any way. It is not my wish to cause you additional pain or discomfort.

I have always wanted what is best for you and your future! I just wanted to jot down some personal thoughts. Take them for what they’re worth. Use or discard them, or let them be the basis for the construction of your own thoughts and ideas.

Find that personal inner peace you long for in your life. Don’t dwell on the past, but dwell on what the future holds for you!

With Much Love, (from your long-winded sister)

Sheryl

I had completely forgotten my sister’s letter, but how timely to have found it now. It has served to reinforce the release of imprisoned memories. It has again let me recapture her thoughts and good advice.

(Third posting, "Releasing the Butterflies," 8-26.)

Chapter Seven

When I arrived at work, “W.T.” was already at his desk. The florist driver handed me these outside. I brought them into my office without thinking…..then, I noticed the attached envelope with your name. Here, they’re for you. Anne, may I ask, what are you doing receiving so many pink roses? There is obviously something going on with you that I know nothing about, or you have stock in our florist shops! Blushing, I reach for the roses as I hurried off for a vase and water. “W.T.” doesn’t need to know anything right now. I really need to see where this situation with Jonathan is heading before an explanation about my personal life is made, and maybe not even then, I thought!

It is difficult to concentrate today! Every thought is of Jonathan, and our recently shared moments…..especially yesterday at the estate after that long embrace. “W.T.,” I need to run a few office errands and deposit today’s checks in the bank. Do you need anything? No, he replied…..think I’m OK!

At the bank, I see of all people…..the florist deliveryman. How did I know he would comment? Mrs. Mayo, evidently, someone knows you are fond of pink roses. Yes, I replied! It takes a special friend to know how to make a day special. I imagine your florist appreciates the business with the economy the way it is though. Oh, yes mam, he replies red-faced ….. sheepishly lowering his head.

I’ve almost finished my office errands when off in the distance I see Jonathan’s car approaching. Anne, I’ve been called away for a few weeks. I was just on my way to your office to tell you. Can you get away for an early lunch? Not today! “W.T.” has right much lined up for me with immediate deadlines. Then, I’ll phone you once I’m settled. If you’d like we can plan a dinner outing when I return from Europe.

Anne, I really enjoyed our time spent together yesterday! I did too…..It couldn’t have been nicer! (now, my countdown begins until his return back into my life.)

This evening, as I walk…..it is a time for reflection. It is a time I now realize I needed. Somehow, today, I had forgotten my butterflies, turtles and photography. I could only think of how much I already missed him, and the fact that he would be abroad for several weeks or more.

The following day, “W.T.” called me into his office, and upon entering I find him looking tired, and as though he has lost his best friend.

Anne, He says…..I’ve always considered you not only an employee, but a dear friend. You know I’ve been out of town a lot this past year. Well, I haven’t been completely honest with you…..they have not all been business appointments and trips. I’m sorry to report that I have discovered I have a very serious health issue.

I will be trying to sell my business as I’ve decided to retire. If you’d like, you may take the remaining weeks of your vacation…..effective immediately. I would hate for you to lose any of your benefits with the company. It looks as though I may have a buyer for the business, and I have told them what a good employee you have been for me the past years. Your status will probably not change, but I was concerned about you losing your vacation days. Also, I consider you a close friend, so I wanted to be honest with you at this time. I certainly didn’t want you to hear the news from any one on the street other than me.

“W.T.,” is there anything I can do? I am in total shock and speechless with disbelief! The town and I are going to miss seeing you in your business each and every day. It goes without saying, I am so sorry about your health issues.

Anne, everything is going to be alright! My surgery is scheduled in a couple of weeks, and my treatments will soon follow. I’m told the prognosis is a good one, but this has made me take stock of my life. I’ve passed retirement, and should have stopped to smell the roses long ago. Please, don’t worry…..this too, shall pass. This really isn’t about my health issue…..it is all about realizing that I should be enjoying my retirement and remaining years with my wife. There is so much we haven’t done or seen in life, and it isn’t too late to begin now!

Chapter Eight

(With much concern, I decided at “W.T.’s” insistence to use my remaining vacation. I returned to the beach, made my final decision to sell the cottage, and with mixed emotions…..I phone the realtor.)

While packing the contents of the cottage, I come across so many things with some fond memories. There is the old tarnished oil lamp that belonged to my grandmother. As a child, I remember it sitting on the center of my grandmother’s circular oak table always on a starched lace tablecloth. On my mantel, is an oak clock that had belonged to my dad.

I come across the woven sewing basket that had belonged to my mother, and still contained her needles, threads, and some of her crocheting needles. The sewing basket doesn’t hold many good memories of the era, but does hold fond memories of the pretty dresses that she made for me.

On a closet shelf, I find the box containing my childhood doll. I cannot recall the doll’s name, but I do remember my mother taking the doll (she would explain) to the doll hospital before each Christmas. On Christmas morning, the doll would be under the tree complete with a

new dress, wig, shoes, stockings, and a natural straw hat always with turned back brim.

In another box, I find my mother’s little ruby and clear cut glass candy dish with matching lid. I had given this to her one Mother’s Day, and it was returned to me after her death.

The final box I remove from the closet shelf is filled with pictures. I find the portrait of my mother as a young woman. What a sadness she had in her eyes, and such an emotionless expression on her face. My heart goes out to her for the life she always wanted, and never was able to obtain.

The next morning, I’m awakened by the sound of breaking waves and noisy sea gulls overhead. I hurriedly dress and rush to the kitchen for coffee.

This is my last walk in the ocean this vacation. With coffee in hand…..I long to linger for another day or two! Realizing this is impossible, I

head back to the cottage to ready myself for the return trip home to my Bedford.

Upon entering the cottage, the sun has fallen on and illuminates a former wooden candy box holder. I had forgotten the box on the library shelf, and as I raise the lid to view the contents and forgotten treasures…..my eyes fall on a letter from my dear sister, Sheryl.

"Releasing the Butterflies," (Continued Story)

Our lunches arrived, and not soon enough for me! This coming out of my cocoon was a little uncomfortable for me. There weren’t many

additional questions during our meal. I decided if there is another

outing with him…..I’ll have my own mental list of questions to ask him.

Upon returning to my office he remarked that this had been a pleasant

and enjoyable lunch. He said he would like to get together again very

soon. We each agreed that this time, we had passed the lunch test with

flying colors, and progressed to a future dinner outing.

A few days later, I was bending over a filing cabinet drawer when I heard the door opening behind me. There stood the same deliveryman with a beautiful arrangement of flowers. There was another note attached which read: “Anne, would you like to try another outing with me? This time, let’s make it for that dinner we discussed. I’ll phone when arrangements are made.”

Signed, Jonathan.

When my home phone rang a week or so later…..excitement filled the

air. (It had been a very long time since I had received a social call from a gentleman.) “How about this Saturday…..I’ll pick you up around 7 pm. if that is convenient for you.” Yes, I replied……….that would be great!

Jonathan arrived right a seven. He said he had selected a beautiful

mountain lodge/retreat on the Blue Ridge Parkway called, the “Peaks of

Otter,” and located at the edge of Abbott’s Lake. The lake was beautiful, and glistened from the setting sun’s remaining rays. In the early evening as sunset meets darkness…..it was breathtaking! As we entered the rustic looking lodge, the candles sparkled and flickered on each table. The soft playing music made the setting and the evening seem to perfection!

After ordering from our menus, the friendly conversation begins Jonathan, I would like to know more about your life. May I

ask you some personal questions?

Q. Have you always lived in Bedford?

A. Yes, but with my parent’s extensive travels abroad, our family probably went unknown for many years. I cannot remember having any close ties or family connections during my earlier years here.

Q. Are your parents currently living abroad?

A. No, they’re not….they were killed in a plane crash when I was in my late twenties. Their remains were never found.

Q. Why did you never marry?

A. I really don’t know why. I was never attracted to anyone. After my parent’s tragic death I stayed to myself for many years. I guess you could say I became a hermit of sorts. Also, the vastness of my sudden inheritance was a bit overwhelming. I now realize I had to grow into my good misfortune, and that took quite some time for me to do.

Q. Weren’t you lonely living on your estate and never seeing anyone?

A. Yes, there were many lonely times. The acreage and the upkeep on the land itself came to be more than full-time. That became my obsession, and it filled the loneliness.

My love for the livestock, wildlife, natural beauty of my surroundings, and to honor with love and respect my parent’s home….became the driving forces in my life.

Soon the questions and conversation came to an end as our delicious dessert of the widely acclaimed blackberry cobbler alamode was served. We decided the end to our delightful evening must come to a close.

Looking overhead as we approached the car…..the stars shone brilliant,

and the sky was crystal clear. That shooting star will be forever etched in my memory as the evening of perfection, and like an evening I had not known in some years. This perfect night, and a memory of a bygone romance and marriage to my late husband, Jim.

Chapter Six

In was nice sleeping in this Saturday morning! Last night had turned into an enjoyable and memorable late evening. There had been lots of nice informative conversation, and I now have a better insight into Jonathan’s life and traits.

What had seemed a lack of a humble gene, I now know was his method of covering his insecurities and fears. After all, his life had completely changed with the tragic unexpected death of his parents. It had happened in his late twenties at a time when those his age had other age related aspirations to pursue.

After the usual Saturday cleaning ritual…..I decided to go in search of the butterflies, maybe save the lives of a turtle or two, and photograph some of Bedford’s scenic views. Such a beautiful crisp morning I thought! The butterflies will soon be leaving for warmer climates. I’ll miss their colorful performances in my yard.

Just the other day while headed home on a lunch break, I saw an injured beautiful yellow swallowtail in the road. I could see it was still intact, pulled up my hand brake and checked for traffic in the rear view mirror. I jumped out to claim yet another specimen for my collection. I always wondered why a butterfly cannot see something as large as an automobile. They seem to hurl themselves with great abandon into cars. I have come to the conclusion, that they are so caught up in the moment.....so busy and happy flying here and there.....they just forget to pay attention to something as trivial as traffic on a road.

I didn’t hear from Jonathan at all today. I was a little disappointed, but remembered, we must not move too quickly with this newly found friendship.

I awoke the next day and decided to have breakfast on the screened porch. I love this time of year! The slant of the sun projects such nice patterns from the light. I’m torn between eating breakfast or recording the moment with camera in hand before leaving for church.

After church, I was changing into something more comfortable when the phone rang. Jonathan, It’s good to hear your voice. Yes, I would love to join you for a picnic at your estate! I don’t have to bring anything, I replied? This will be a unique picnic with no food, I laughed. Oh, I didn’t realize one of your talents was also cooking.

Why don’t I drive to your place…..that way, you won’t have to travel to town. That will allow you additional time to prepare all sorts of food for us. I’m pretty hungry now for some reason. Okay, I can be there at two o’clock. See you then…..The drive is unusually pleasant on such a nice day. I believe the spring and early fall seasons to be my favorite times of year in Virginia.

Jonathan’s beautiful Greyhound, Rowan, greeted me as I stepped from the car. She is a slender white dog with a harlequin mask and black markings resembling those of a Dalmatian dog. He recounted how he had obtained her through the “Adopt A Greyhound” program. Rowan’s personality reveals the calm characteristics of her breed. A true “lady” in every sense of the word.

I have always thought I wanted a dog, but decided to keep a little stray kitten that appeared at our door a few years ago. We named him, “Oliver,” and he has been a member of our family for about ten years. Like all cats, Oliver is very independent. He occasionally allows me to stroke his fur, but I’m ever mindful to quickly withdraw my hand before receiving one of his love nibbles!

Hey, Jonathan, I’m starving! You’d better have lots of food at this picnic. We’re not eating at the house, he said. We’re riding horses to the picnic spot I have chosen. It is beside a river that winds through the estate.

I already have the horses saddled, loaded with everything we’ll need, and we’re ready to leave. Oh? There’s just one little problem…..I’ve never been on a horse. Jonathan, it isn’t amusing to me! He assured me that it would be easy, and all I had to do was get up in the saddle. The horse would do all the work. He helped me up in the saddle while laughing, and cautioned me not to fall from the other side. Jonathan, you are just one barrel of laughs today, I replied.

Oh my, this isn’t quite as comfortable as my car, no air conditioning, and I really do miss not having a break pedal. Thank goodness, the chosen spot for our picnic was only about thirty long minutes from his estate. I don’t think my lower extremities could have made it much

farther. As he helped me from the saddle, his arms pulled me near, and our eyes met with deep longing for our shared loneliness to end.

I had not noticed until now that we were at a lovely large screened-in gazebo at the river’s edge. He obviously had his staff ride ahead to prepare for our picnic. The water rushing by made the surroundings cool and mesmerizing.

Jonathan, did you really prepare everything that is at this feast? (it is spread buffet style on the table before us) Well, I must confess that I did have an assistant or two drive on ahead to help put it together. It is delicious! How did you know I would like everything that was prepared, I asked? He said, “Our tastes seem so much alike…..I assumed we’d also like the same foods.”

After our meal, he asked if I was too full for a stroll along the river. We had not strolled too far when Jonathan reached for my hand. They each fit the other like a glove. His hand felt so confident, so warm, so strong, as he guided me over and about the surrounding rocks and ledges.

The wide river is clear with fish darting about, and occasionally breaking the water’s surface. It sparkles from the evening sunlight and reflects the nearby mountains. It is breath-takingly beautiful! The water pools just below a dam where wildlife pause for a cool drink and to graze amid the tall grasses and reeds.

It is here we stop to watch a doe and her fawns frolicking. It is here that he releases my hand to place his arms around my shoulders, and not a word is spoken.

After a while, we return to the gazebo, gather our personal things, and mount the horses for the short ride back to the estate. I think Rowan heard the horses and our laughter, because she is waiting. She has her happy long skinny wagging tail spinning in a circular motion…..like one of those little whirly things that fall from the trees. We say our goodbyes with an enormous hug, and the promise of a check-up phone call within the hour.

Just checking to see if you made it to your home safely, he said. Yes, no problems at all, I replied. Jonathan, thank you for the spontaneous picnic, preparing all the food, and the delightful stroll along the river.

It was the most enjoyable evening and picnic I’ve ever known. You’re welcome! I’m growing quite fond of our time together. It means a lot to me, Anne!

Continued from previous post

After my hot shower, I slipped into bed with my journal in hand. I was still thinking about Jonathan Bryant, and those pink roses when I fell off to sleep.

The following weeks were uneventful. My vacation was fast

approaching, and I really needed to get away. A trip away from my old

memories, and the security of the smallness of my hometown would be

what I needed. I could feel the rippled wave of excitement as I marked the following days from my calendar.

Now at the beach, I’m happy that I left work early to avoid the traffic. Also, relaxed and comfortable in bed and eager for the early morning walk along the shore .

Tonight, the waves seem to have a lazy sort of delicate crashing sound. The breeze is pleasantly cool enough to open the windows, turn

off the A/C, and drink in the melodious sound of the ocean.

The following new morning is beautiful, and while walking I have found almost perfect sea shells, and occasional pieces of smoothed green and blue glass in the fine sand. The ocean’s treasure box given from the depths of her floor.

As I wander through the lapping edges of the ocean, my thoughts turn

to my late husband. There were many early morning and late evening

walks with him on this very same beach. Where had all the years gone?

How did what started out as a beautiful relationship end with such

anger, bitterness and death? Why were we never able to put our

feelings of anger aside long enough to mend the negative relationship

we had each created?

I’ve wandered this sandy ocean edge for the past three summers since

his unfortunate death. Each year, I play the same questions over and

over again in my head. I have yet to come up with an answer to put to rest all that I’ve regretted for so very long.

I wish he was here with me once again walking in the sand. I wish the

anger had never occurred. I wish the unanswered and unresolved

questions had never begun for either of us. Most of all, I wish what

must happen to each of us in a relationship sooner or later had ended

with feelings of ecstasy…..memories of good will and much love.

Another night, and the replay of my thoughts tumbling deep within combined with the relaxing ocean’s roar…..the breeze on the billowing curtains at the opened windows…..lulled me to sleep feeling this year as before. Like the ocean, sliding back away from the shore…..I too, must release my memories of the past.

I must return to this beach in a few months to clean out the material memories and sweep away my tumbling thoughts. I must make my decision about whether to keep my beloved cottage. I must focus once again on my personal life without my husband!

Now back in Bedford and at work, the coffee is brewing and my tasks begun. My boss, “W.T.” is away on his vacation, and it is a nice way for me to slip back into my work routine.

In the backlog of mail, I find a personal looking note addressed to me.

Upon opening, I find an invitation to attend an event at the estate of,

Mr. Jonathan Bryant. Why on earth would he have even thought I

might wish to attend? I was under the impression we each had been

happy when that unfortunate lunch date had ended several months ago.

As I write in my journal tonight, and with much thought…..I

decided to attend this function. I do have that new dress I’ve been

saving for some special occasion. I just need to buy new shoes, purse, and I can use my present accessories. For now, I’ll RSVP, and not give much thought to this unexpected invitation.

It will be the ideal setting to meet new friends in this casual atmosphere. You either see the best or worse of a person in such a setting. This helps

you sort through any issues you might have had with them. Hopefully,

not in a judgmental way.

Bedford is small, but there are new people continually moving to

the area. They are attracted to the characteristics of our small town. Even though I am fond of our locals, a new face/personality/different stories will be a fresh welcome. In fact, it will be appreciated.

Rick Harvey is one of our local citizens. He is in his 60’s, a rotund

gentleman whose stature resembles that of Santa Clause. He has a nice smile, is a happy sort of person, and I don’t believe I’ve ever known him not to be smiling. When no one else understands his jokes…..he laughs anyway…..he always has been his own best audience. Sometimes, I wonder if in some instances those who seem to be the

most comedic really are the ones with the most serious inner conflicts (sometimes)

New to our area are Becky and Hector Whitten. They are the former

owners of a rather large alpaca ranch in Texas. The wife is a hysterical

story teller, and never meets a stranger. She is a tall willowy blonde

with a beautiful smile. She speaks to everyone she meets. Hector is a

pleasant man with a definite attraction to his wife. They seem a well

matched pair with a love for home, flowers, animals, and a kindness for

everyone they meet.

Then there are locals, Dave Simpson and his wife, Nola. Dave is a

sleepy looking loner with the personality of mashed potatoes. He really

thinks himself to be a lady’s man. He jokes his way through life, and

force hugs every female regardless of her acceptance or not. Each of us

knows he is mentally recording every curve of our body while in his

grasp. No one says anything because his wife is well respected in the

community. He on the other hand has a go with the flow mentality.

I guess when you get right down to it, maybe a lot of us are laughing on

the outside to mask our inner hurts and problems. You know, maybe

that isn’t a bad thing to do after all. It is better than being so absorbed

with conflicts and issues within that we become stone faced and zombie-

like.

Well, these are examples of some of the people who will no doubt attend

Jonathan’s affair. He always invites a varied mix of people so I hear. I

imagine it makes for a more interesting evening.

The evening has arrived for Jonathan’s party, and as I drive past the old magnolia trees up the lengthy and winding driveway to the estate, I feel a combination of nervousness and excitement! The evening will be a nice diversion from my butterfly safaris, turtle adventures and photography shoots. This party will be the event of the season!

The estate is exquisite with an expansive foyer which opens to a living

area complete with a baby grand piano in the foreground. Jonathan’s

love of art is apparent all through the colorful home. Massive paintings hang over each ornate mantel throughout and are by a noted artist, and other paintings have depicted his many travels abroad. There are family antiques, and oriental rugs accent every room. The Tiffany stained glass and murals are breath-taking, and the estate leaves nothing incomplete or without thought in planning.

French doors open to a glassed-in porch filled with every variety of orchids and ferns. The room overlooks brick terraces, and a swimming pool with lovely views of the river below.

Outside, gardens overflow with the beauty of rose arbors, annuals, perennials, and there are paths meandering with graceful twist and turns leading to the welcomed surprise of butterfly gardens.

There is a screened gazebo (one of several) with an illuminated Koi pond which encircles its quiet beauty. It flows under and around the gazebo leading to another garden filled with the fragrance of gardenias.

At the rear of the landscaped property many feeders are dotted here and there throughout the bird sanctuaries. The dusk is now lulling the many inhabitants to sleep to be awakening in song with the first morning’s light.

I guess I’m a bit stunned that this boastful man has such a splendid selection of varied styles of art, elegant furnishings, and landscaping. It is evident why he is rarely seen in town. Even though beautiful beyond words of description, the upkeep both inside and out must defy and stagger the imagination!

I could never understand why Jonathan had never married. He was

handsome, wealthy, owned this beautiful vast estate, but his humble

gene was not in short supply!

You know, I’ll bet I could be a good match for him. He would be a tremendous challenge, but I’ll wager I could bring the humbleness from deep within his soul. It might be worth a try…..AND, I do love pink

roses. After all, I had released my memories to the ocean waves while on vacation. They are now far out to sea and far away from me.

The evening gala was an exciting affair, and I really enjoyed visiting

with old and new friends (even those I spoke of earlier) In doing so I

realized what had been missing from my life the past few years. I had

missed the interaction with others while allowing myself to become

trapped within the security of my surroundings.

While saying goodbye to Jonathan, he held my hands in his with

warmth and firmness. He smiled while looking deep into my eyes, and

taking me aside asked if I would like to try lunch with him again

sometime soon. This evening’s enjoyable festivities have come to an

end, and they give me something to ponder as I drive back into town

to my home.

This morning, the night after such a pleasant occasion, I am filled with

a renewed excitement. It is an expectancy and longing for someone

special in my life. It is for someone to once again walk with me along a

shared path into a future without end.

The ringing phone broke my deep thoughts. It was Jonathan suggesting we try a different place for lunch since we had not gotten off before to such a good start. I told him I was sorry, but “W.T.” had phoned from

out of town again to ask if I could stay during my lunch hour. He was arranging a very important conference call, and he needed me in the office amid reference materials. We decided to arrange another lunch date the following week, and he asked if he could meet me at the office.

When the appointed time arrives the door opened and Jonathan enters.

My heart skips quite a few beats as I receive his warm and slightly

crooked smile. Oh, he is very handsome and tanned from his many

travels all over the world. He has such a slender physique for his age,

and appears muscular through and through. Huh? He said, “I asked if

you’re ready for another lunch with me?” Yes, I replied, “Let’s give it

another try.”

“You know, you look lovely, and your dress is one of my favorite shades

of blue. It is the perfect match to your eyes…..which, by the way are

very pretty too.” Why thank you, Jonathan! You’re really trying hard

to redeem yourself aren’t you? We laughed as we approached his car. ( I

do feel slightly giddy and somewhat like a teenager on a first date, but

as my years indicate…..I know exactly what is taking place)

I guess since it is mid week this lunch location isn’t too busy. We almost

have the dining room to ourselves. This time we scan our menus, and

we order without too much conversation. While waiting the light

chatter begins.

Q. Anne, how long has it been since Jim died?

A. About three years.

Q. I’m surprised I haven’t seen you out socially.

A. It has taken me a while to deal with some personal issues.

Q. Do you mind if I ask what they were?

A. Anne remained quiet while he moved on to the next question

not missing a beat.

Q. How long was Jim employed with his company?

A. About 32 years. He was due to retire in two years when he suddenly collapsed and died.