Chapter
Nine
During Anne’s
childhood must have been her mother’s unhappiest! As Anne’s
friend, I would like to share with you what Anne would never reveal
about her childhood or parents. It was an unfortunate beginning into
a life filled with unfortunate circumstances.
Anne’s parents
married very young, and her mother always appeared to resent the
marriage. She had been engaged to marry someone else, but her mother
wanted her to marry a young man who had repeatedly begged her, and
who lived in the neighborhood. (He was her grandmother’s favorite
choice for a husband for her daughter) Anne’s grandmother told her
daughter if she married anyone other than this young man, she could
never again return home.
In her daughter’s
quest for some kind of happiness in her life…..ended her
engagement, and married Anne’s dad. In the 27 years of their
marriage, Anne didn’t think they ever experienced the first day of
happiness. When her mother would become so tired from having to
work, combined with being beaten by her dad…..she must have felt so
alone, scared, filled with resentment and anger. As I look back on
their lives, it is a wonder they even had time for one another.
There were those
frequent daily times her mother would become agitated, and Anne
never knew what she had done. “She would grab me by the arm, and
put me in the closet under the steps. I would sit on an old brown
trunk (which was the lone item stored in the closet) listening to her
scream/rant/rave for me to stay there. When I’d cry and beg,
Please mommy, let me out…..I promise I’ll be a good girl. It
would fall on a dead unanswered silence.”
You know, some years
later after Anne married she said they drove past that old house
where this had occurred. There was a “For Sale” sign in the
yard. She asked her husband to please stop. They approached the
front door, tried knocking…..but no one answered. She turned the
knob, and the door was unlocked. They entered the vacant/unfurnished
house. The first room
Anne wanted to see was the room with the closet under the steps. She
ducked her head, entered the small closet, and turned to ask her
husband to take her picture. He asked why in the world she would
want a picture of such an unpleasant experience? She answered, “I
want to exorcise my closet, and all the bad memories it holds.”
Anne said there were
numerous other incidents! When her daddy would beat her mother in
the middle of the night…..her mother would gather her and her
sister, Sheryl up with a few belongings.
They would walk several
dark (no street lights) frightening miles in the middle of the
night to the grandparent’s home. There, they would sleep on the
floor of the three room cottage.
The grandparents had to
give up their nice home when the grandfather’s eyes worsened with
cataracts. (In those days, there was no corrective eye surgery.) He
had been a carpenter of fine furniture, and could only find work as a
caretaker of a cemetery. The job included the cottage with no
running water, electricity or bathroom facilities.
Anne said as a child
growing up; it was a frightening experience. She told me it was
especially embarrassing as a teen never being able to bring the few
friends she allowed herself to her home for a visit. When she
entered the house each day after school….she never knew what she
might find/what might have taken place. It caused her to become sort
of a loner. She said it was easier not having friends then, she
never had to explain the environment or her family.
There was a wealthy
family down the street from Anne. They had a beautiful home with a
swimming pool, pool table in the basement, and all kinds of things to
keep a child busy.
Their mother didn’t
have to work, and the father was a dentist. Also, he had turned one
of the very large rooms in the older home into a rehearsal space for
an orchestra. He was a bit eccentric, and thought himself to be an
orchestra leader.
Their daughter and Anne
became friends in junior high school where they each played violins
in the school’s orchestra. They invited Anne into this
home-styled orchestra, and were occasionally invited to perform for
the children’s orphanage in their city.
Anne told me that later
she realized the important role this family played in her life. They
would take her everywhere they went. She recounted one of her
fondest memories of the first time she saw their beautiful second
home located on the James River. The home dated to
the Civil War era, and
upon entering the double front doors, you could look upstairs and see
the surrounding hallway on each of the four sides.
After moving to
Bedford, my friend lost touch with this family. It was many years
later, she saw her childhood friend, and was able to thank her for
including her in their outings. Her parents realizing (perhaps
hearing) her personal need, and void in her life which they could
fill.
There were other times,
maybe a friend would invite Anne to the movies. She would begin
getting ready early in the morning after finishing her chores. The
usual shower and shampoo, pin curling her hair, washing her clothes
to wear, hanging them on the clothes line to dry, and then ironing
what she planned to wear that day. All dressed and ready to
leave….she would reach for the door knob. Invariably, her mother
would say, “Where do you think you’re going?” Anne would stay
home again. After this continued treatment, she said she remembered
thinking…..why get excited about an event or planned trip….it’s
not going to happen anyway. Anne’s unhappiness and discomfort
seemed to bring her mother great pleasure and enjoyment.
In her teen years, her
dad’s beatings to her mother were transferred to Anne by her
mother. They lasted until Anne’s marriage to her late husband,
Jim. Anne mentioned how her mother would throw her on the bed,
straddle her and beat…..beat….. beat until her frustrations had
cleared.
Once, it became so bad
that Anne attempted to run away to the home of her dad’s parents.
They lived at the beach some two hours away. Anne’s friend and the
friend’s mother pooled their money for her train ticket.
When Anne arrived at
the train station…..she phoned her friend. The friend said your
mother phoned looking for you. She said you had better return home
or she is phoning the police.
As a child, Anne said
it was very confusing, and she didn’t understand at all! She would
watch her mother (who was a professional seamstress) sew into the
night making her little smocked dresses, beautiful coats with
matching hats and purses. As a teen, her mother always kept her
wallet filled for her needs at school, but there never seemed to be
any affection and was void of any love.
As an adult, Anne
rationalized that in her mother’s unhappiness with her unwanted
marriage partner, with the two partners making one another miserable
in retaliation…..she felt she was the trigger to release some of
her hostility and frustrations.
(While at the beach
cottage Anne thinks.....my goodness, the storm was horrendous, but
with a much needed rain. I have written in my journal and reflected
on my childhood much too long tonight. Like the rain that cleanses
the earth…..so, my soul has been purged clean.)
No comments:
Post a Comment