I remove the letter and
once again open it to read. I begin to remember the occasion…..it
was a few years after Jim’s unexpected death. It reads……….
Dear Anne:
As your older sister
there are some things I need to say. I am deeply concerned about
your emotional pain. I realize this has been a hurtful and difficult
time for you, but your loss of Jim seems to be taking its toll on
your life.
I think it is taking
an unusually long time for your adjustment and recovery. When I
visited you a few months ago, I couldn’t help noticing your lack of
interest in your home, yard and personal appearance. This is in sharp
contrast to the way you have always functioned and lived your life.
Because of my deep concern and love…… I just need to share some
of my following thoughts:
Any idea, thought,
emotion, anger or whatever equates to a negative or positive energy.
To expend any of the negative energies on the past is a complete
waste and loss of time. The past cannot be undone…..what is
done…..is just that…..DONE/OVER/FINISHED.
If the situation is
loneliness, lost love, etc., does a person just stew in those
negative juices day in and day out/minute by hour over and over again
EXPENDING NEGATIVE ENERGY? How does this action make any POSITIVE
SENSE for a POSITIVE GROWTH?
How does a positive
relationship get a chance to occur while only negative energy is
being expended on the past, thinking always of what we don’t have,
and what we think we aren’t?
Wouldn’t it be more
fruitful to grab on to the positive energy in the depths of your
inner-being to change that which we have absolutely no control
over…..meaning, past mistakes/misjudgments, etc?
I’m personally
convinced from years of thoughts and experiences that the past
mistakes/misjudgments, have to happen in order that we my grow
character, wisdom, and experience.
I personally think the
problem that can evolve,….. is to stop dead in our tracks at the
end of that last sentence. To just stop and become mired down after
the realization, but then not to move forward in a positive direction
is what can occur in each of us. I personally think when we don’t
keep repeating the same actions…..then, we know we are experiencing
a new positive growth.
If I may; you are
beginning that new positive growth by starting to clean the yard. You
are taking the yard from a negative state to a
positive state, which
can result in a positive state of mind for your inner self. Now, the
growth part for you will come into play, when you feel the
satisfaction of the positive results.
Step by step, one day
at a time, keep moving forward towards positive results. Next, move
inside the house, and one room at a time, and one day at a
time…..look at the positive results. Feel the positive results and
energy.
Now, step by step, one
day at a time while you complete the yard and inside the house, be
working on your inner self. Love yourself for what you’ve
accomplished, love yourself for all your good qualities, love
yourself for your
generosity, love for your fair treatment of others, love yourself for
your inner/outer beauty that is there, love yourself for all your
accomplishments in life, love yourself for the way you deal with your
neighbors/family members, love yourself for being a good person.
Love, love and love again……Anne Elizabeth Mayo!
Maybe, don’t spend
every weekend or every evening, doing the same things. Yard work is a
positive thing, but it can also become a pattern difficult to break.
Do some of the other
things you love. Go biking, to the market, to the library or hiking.
Find someone who also likes to browse antiques. You may happen upon
someone else who is lonely, just get yourself out of the house, and
out of negative thinking. Keep on keeping on with your life. Don’t
dwell on your aloneness. Try to think of other things. Don’t put
yourself in the same situations. Remember, positive growth! Don’t
be in all the same
places, doing all the same things, having all the same thoughts over
and over again.
Note: So, you just had
a life changing setback! Deal with it your way, but don’t stew in
the negative juices for a dangerously long period of time. You are
intelligent enough to know when life with someone is over, you must
move on with your life.
To keep on going back
to a comfortable/uncomfortable place with the same thoughts is
unhealthy. It is like picking a squeezed lemon out of the trash can,
and just trying one more time to extract more juice.
Cherish the
experiences you had with Jim/situations, but don’t let them consume
your every waking minute. At the same time, reflect on the negative
aspects of that same relationship and ask yourself how they felt.
In other words, to use
the lemon example; if you had taken that already squeezed lemon from
the trash can…..squeezed and gotten a little more juice, but the
juice was no longer as pungent…..just what would you have gained?
Anne, I love you, and I
hope I‘ve not overstepped the sister boundaries of life, and
offended you in any way. It is not my wish to cause you additional
pain or discomfort.
I have always wanted
what is best for you and your future! I just wanted to jot down
some personal thoughts. Take them for what they’re worth. Use or
discard them, or let them be the basis for the construction of your
own thoughts and ideas.
Find that personal
inner peace you long for in your life. Don’t dwell on the past,
but dwell on what the future holds for you!
With Much Love, (from
your long-winded sister)
Sheryl
I had completely
forgotten my sister’s letter, but how timely to have found it now.
It has served to reinforce the release of imprisoned memories. It
has again let me recapture her thoughts and good advice.
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